I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
