you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
