every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this will be a night to untag.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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