i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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