my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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