Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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