I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
