Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
