first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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