i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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