we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
