is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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