one might say we're banned from that church
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
