I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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