i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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