Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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