1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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