I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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