I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
