Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
