But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
