He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
