All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
