we're chasing vodka with high fives
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
