Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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