as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
