Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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