Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
