Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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