My first STD was from a foam party
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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