Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
