Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
