Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
