for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize