first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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