He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
