I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
