turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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