I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
