if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
