Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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