seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
