I hate your face
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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