That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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