i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
