Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
