I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
