his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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