She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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