this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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