I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
