Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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