What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
