If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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