we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
