Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
