NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize