is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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