Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
