don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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