Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
