so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're a waste of cheezeits
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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