well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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