singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
where does the pee come out of this thing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
