oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
