Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize