I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize