i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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